Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
