so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
