dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize