Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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