Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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