member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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