Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my shit smells like andre
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
