god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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