LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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