belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
