Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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