also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
