Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize