Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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