piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
