I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Randomize
