O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
