I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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