yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
