The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
