4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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