forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
