I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
