Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
