I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
is wine microwaveable?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
