Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
