genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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