She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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