everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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