Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
