Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
