help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
