Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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