they need to just BURY HIM!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
