Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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