We're facebook friends in real life
I think I am morally bankrupt
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
