we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
