I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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