And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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