..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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