Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
