So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
