is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
