I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
