eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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