You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
