i just wanna soil my oats bro
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize