I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
