so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
