Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
