i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
