shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
