are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
