I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
