There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize