Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
