I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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