I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
