No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
