So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize