No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
