we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
