Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
